really have to ask myself

After 2hrs of tests an dr. comments today I have to ask myself is all this really worth it, who is getting benefit from this obviously not me when every-time I agree to come in for more test all I get is negative results from them, today I had eeg done that confirmed my brain function is losing again, my nervous response is slower and weakened and pain increase with no ideas as how to lessen it, i have to ask how much more of this will i do or will take before i say enough and just decide to forgo any more medical, I am sorry if this is upsettting to anyone but I have to be honest with myself and everyone else

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2 Responses to really have to ask myself

  1. Matt,
    You just be You. You are awesome and you are wonderfully made.
    Never forget that.
    Dr. Margaret

  2. Scott Floyd says:

    This is a hard place to be in. I support whatever you decide at any time you decide. If the time comes and nothing can be done, if you get so tired that you say it is time to wait and rest and see what happens next, I understand. I have often thought of what I would do if put into the situation you are in. I hope I would put my faith first and listen carefully not so much to people as to God and the things I am seeing around me. I feel you are doing that and doing it well.

    I will tell you now that I want you to stay around, and I will also say that whatever you face, I see you already facing it with dignity and compassion. I wish I knew I could do what you have done, Matt – I really do wish that. Please know you have in a very short time made a hugh, lifelong and lasting impression on me.

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