my look at life now

recently I had a discussion with old friend and at one point it got rather emotional and heated, she was expressing her feelings of wishing she and other and especially the medical community could do more to help me. I looked at her and said something rather profound but uncommon take for me, ” you see those commercials all the time where hospitals and care centers talk about 90-95 cure or help rates well someone has to be in that 5-10% non cured rate now its my turn to be there,” she started to cry and got upset and I understood why my life I have beaten the odds over and over again when was told things were not in my favor but unfortunately this time i see changes in me I can not ignore that are for the worse, I would not want someone trying to take my pain or go through what I have, I hope what I have been through and what I continue to do will help and change others and maybe someone won’t do or go through what i have, yes i know there are people who have it worse than me and I am blessed with what i have my friends my home and my abilities, I am and forever will be grateful for all of you and all that God has given me yes even the cancers it has made me who I am , A strong and brave human who faces challenges and try not to back down or run away

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4 Responses to my look at life now

  1. JJ Davis says:

    you are that and much, much more my friend. JJ

  2. butilookgood says:

    Yes, it is rather hard for people to understand that the medical community doesn’t have it all figured out for everyone and in every case. In fact, I see more often than not, people with chronic illness being told they cannot be helped. When we hear the diagnosis, cancer or any other illness, we often think that all people with cancer or all people MS, Lyme Disease, Lupus, etc are in the same stages, have the same symptoms, respond the same, have the same amount of permanent damage, etc.

    The truth is (as you touched up), you have already exceeded expectations and prognosis time after time and year after year. Odds have been against you, your whole life. With your courage and determination you have beat so many odds and touched so many lives with yours.

    I, too, wish there was something the doctors could do for you now!! I don’t want to see you hurting and I don’t want to say goodbye! Through it all, I know you and know you are doing your best to keep fighting for each week, each day, each hour, each breath and I am doing my best to cherish what time we have left with you. LOVE you!!

  3. Jane Brown says:

    To say that you are brave is a gross understatement, Matt, you are the strongest life warrior I know.
    You are fearless before some of the greatest challenges life can throw at a person and I am honored and humbled to write in your book. You have made me stronger and for that I will be eternally grateful ~ we’ll reminiscent and probably chuckle about all of this in a much better time and place (and our souls will exchange high fives for good jobs done)!

    God Bless you Matt.

  4. Cathy Russell says:

    Hi Matt: Just reading your story for the first time. I wanted to thank you for being who you are. I, too, live with a chronic disease. As you know, this is very tiring at times. I am having trouble feeling depressed today, but you have inspired me to try to keep fighting. If you can do it, so can I. I wanted you to know that you surely do help and inspire others – that is a gift.
    Take care and God bless you,

    Cathy Russell

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