me

f you want to delete me after this go ahead because i really don’t give a f***, and for many of you who know me you know i don’t get angry or use that word often if ever, recently i had someone tell me that suffering isn’t noble or brave rather stupid and selfish, that I choose not to do anything to ease or relieve my pain, I was shocked at this but then had another friend tell me they wish they could take away my pain and i told them i would not let them that better i suffer than others, let me be clear I have had constant pain for over 22 yrs and it does not go away or lessen and lately with more damage in brain weather and barometer changes have increased my pain I am very tired of hurting so much and it is wearing me down I am not as active as i used to be and yes at times i just want the pain and hurt to end but there is only one way that happens and i know many of you are not ready for that to occur, my emotions are wearing thin and my temper and fuse are very short anymore, I had a friend tell me they could see how a giant like me was such a kind and giving person well it took a lot of work, my fear is that i will lose control of my emotions and lash out which i do not want to do so please be patient with me or move on, my time now is precious to me and it is all about quality rather than quantity in everything now

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One Response to me

  1. Britt says:

    Matt, I am disabled and have a serious disease that is potentially fatal, and sometimes I am shocked and hurt by the comments, sometimes even by friends and family members, saying that I don’t deserve access to health care and that I’m not really as sick as I say I am because I can sometimes get out and do things. Those comments really hurt me and I have lost many friends. I would like to tell you that your strength and example inspires me and helps me to want to live and carry on. Regarding healing and cancer, have you ever read anything by Dr. Bernie Siegel? He’s a surgeon from Yale and founded ECaP (Exceptional Cancer Patients). You can google him if you like and he is very inspirational. Following is a link to a story that inspired me today, about a woman who returned kindness for hatred: http://www.beautyexists.net/humanity/woman-pays-for-the-coffee-of-the-person-who-cursed-at-her/
    God bless you, Matt, and thanks for giving me courage today.
    – Britt

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