I try to be polite and understanding but

Recently after some new blog posts and decisions I have made , which I expected people to express their opinions about , I have been doing some thinking and contemplating things I am being told and done around me and have come to a few conclusions, I am not a martyr or masochist who likes to endure pain rather i prefer to deal with the pain than the alternative heavy drugs and side effects not to mention possibility of being restricted to a bed in a hospital that is not for me, if you ask why the answer is simple after all I have been through I have a tremendously high tolerance to pain meds example I was on 600 mg of morphine a day and still functioning and walking around . second I have tried to be available and open to seeing people even when I am in terrible pain and at times people have opted out or asked to reschedule because they have had a busy crazy week or forgot about our appt this will no longer be accepted or treated graciously as I have in the past my time now is very precious to me ,in simple terms if you ask me to meet or schedule something with me and then reschedule do not expect me to be ok with this or accept  . Third people tell me they wish they could take away my pain honestly none of you would want or could handle the pain and issues I go through yes I would not wish this on my enemy but it is my burden to bear

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One Response to I try to be polite and understanding but

  1. Karen Davis says:

    I can’t begin to imagine what your pain is like Matt. I say this with great sincerity. I do, however, know what it is like to live with pain. I’ve battled chronic pain for ten years. My disability is invisible but nonetheless very real. Pain medication is not an option for me. I have two autistic kids to take care of. I can’t be a walking zombie. Like you, I’ve discovered that a good number of folks have absolutely no understanding of what’s required for me to be functional. Even my family doesn’t get it sometimes. At times this adds to the pain for me but as I keep pressing on I try to remember that even when folks don’t get it it doesn’t mean they don’t care. They just honestly don’t get it. That being said I think you teach people how to treat you and if you tolerate bad behavior it just continues. I think your decision to have boundaries right now when your time is short is a good one. In some ways you’re showing folks that you care enough about them to not let them get away with their insensitivity.

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